Self Reflection – InsideTheSun

Goodbye

We planted the sunflower seeds in the grave of lost souls, where our bodies were buried in the lands we were once salves and compelled to self harm never knowing the birthmark of self love, we were once so terrified for pure rain to mark our dirt with rainbow puddles.

Instead we let our selves dry down and die like Autumn leaves in the summer breeze where it rained tearfully.

The ravens found a home in our graves laughing like mocking birds at how we were so afraid to escape, If I’d allow the rays to paint my all over my gray tombstone, if I’d allowed myself to merge from beneath the ground or the love to escape my empty room would I have learnt to say goodbye to the bad old days and let the sunflowers bloom.

SEARCHING

I searched near the pines, beyond the deep blue skies, knitted in the ever green leaves, where the sun graced the trees and turned them golden bruised.

I once called to the skies kissed by omen faith right where I thought he left his hands for me to take, I reached further, tip toes, stretched higher, I saw me float, closer to a home I’ve never known, felt nor touched.

I swam near the sun I swear on my future gray hairs I thought I’d burn, turn into ashes, somehow the stars would welcome me whole and probably say ‘welcome home’, yet there I woke still in yesterday’s clothes, praying for the better unknown.

Where was I?

I turned the most basic fabric of my own soul inside out, I became undone, I shattered, my skin melted onto the dirt beneath my feet, blended and became one with the beautiful yet merciless earth, I was the termite that denied flowers to bloom, the darkness that denied the sun room.

I plugged my own roots one by one, by one. Every night I crumbled, tearing my own woven threads, spat on the plants I planted with a dying heart with seeds covered in pained truths.

I inhaled the dulcet tunes, still succumbed to nothing, clothed in fatherless lessons and my mothers timeless love, where was I? Where was my own self love when I gave away the keys to my castle to reckless persons.

-Mosso